This birthday hit different. Sure, lots of things were different from last year, but it just FELT...better. Nothing extraordinary happened. I didn't receive any crazy extravagant gifts. But it felt...great. Better than it usually does.
My birthday was never a day I got excited about. It was just "a day." I believed it should be about me, but I never felt special.
This year, despite the many hardships the past 365 days, I FELT special. I FELT at peace and giddy with happiness. My eyes were open, my head was clear. I had all the right people in my corner armed with the power of love, forgiveness, and unwavering support. My family and friends, near and far, new and old, all coming together to create the harmony of balance I needed. So much laughter filled my life as the negative energy was banished into the far reaches of my mind.
I've always been an optimist and a hopeless romantic, but it's hard when you're faced with challenges like Covid, and being hundreds of miles away from family and friends, losing a loved one, etc. I had to take a very long break from social media to enjoy my family and bask in their love. We welcomed baby Brie into our lives and my focus was on her this whole year. But challenges have silver linings.
Covid did not disrupt our family. I'm an introvert at heart and enjoy being home. While the kids are going bonkers not being able to go outside, we found things at home to do and enjoyed each other's company. Kev and I never ran out of love to give and laughter to toss out. If anything his obnoxious jokes only intensified but we find him highly entertaining, and I loved him more for his happy attitude about the whole thing despite the situation.
I learned patience and to really step up and give each child their individual attention. From digital learning to homeschooling Audrey and raising a baby in between. Talking with Ethan the way he needs me to: as a parent with understanding for the things he likes and is concerned about, to a friend he can spend time with and laugh with. Playing with Reesie and Audrey, doing more crafts and coloring pages with them, watching Audrey flourish as she navigated homeschool. Brie growing up, her personality developing and blooming. It all came together and made me appreciate my family and their versatility so much. They're such wonderful children, patient and kid, wearing their masks dutifully without complaint, understanding that there's a virus outside that can hurt us and our loved ones. They treasure things easily taken for granted, and don't fuss about it. (They are getting a great Christmas this year!)
Being able to juggle everything was satisfying. I could juggle being a mom to 4 children in different age phases, being a wife and companion, cooking, cleaning, AND playing video games and writing. Writing takes A LOT of work and yet, I could complete 200+ pages in 2-3 months. Yes, I can do that.
That's right! I started gaming again! Wow, that was fun. Ethan and I ran through the entire Halo Series together. (1-4, ODST, and Reach). Started on Heroic to pay attention to the story and currently running through Legendary because we can. There's so many more games we want to play in our queue and spending time with him this way is amazing. Lots of laughter going on and I love that I can spend time with him like this. He IS my son; we bond over things I love because he loves them too. The love I have for this kid is overflowing.
AND I started writing again. I haven't in YEARS, not really. Jotting down ideas and scenes was not the same as starting from the beginning and running through the whole thing with nothing but an epiphany. It was euphoric to say the least.
I have SO MUCH. I am so blessed and so happy. I have vibrated so high that toxicity has fallen out of my frequency (thanks Best Karla for the quote!). Life is so so good. I am so extremely grateful for the support of my family near and far (IL and the Philippines) and all of the love they have for me and us. I am so grateful for all our friends (the ARMY we have in IL and all our wonderful new ones here in FL).
It was an amazing Thanksgiving cooking from scratch for my family. Being told "you're the best Mommy ever" touched my heart in ways I can't describe. Being able to provide them delicious meals they enjoy so much is exciting. Just watching the way their eyes light up is satisfaction enough. And my birthday days later, though nothing overly exciting happened, was still so much fun. I had my family with me, healthy and happy, and that was the best present I could ask for.
Thank you all for the birthday wishes. I love each and every one of you from the bottom of my heart. We're excited to get the holidays started! And start this amazing [new] adventure. Ethan is turning 18 and graduating high school, I have things in the works, we've decided to pick up where we left off with vlogs, etc. I've taken a long enough social media break. It's time to get this party really started.
Don't believe me? Just watch.
Love,
Mich
